hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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