You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
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Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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