god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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