Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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