Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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