everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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