6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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