Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
