Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
