The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize