I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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