Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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