I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
