ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am naked and annoyed.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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