Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My penis needs a shock collar
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
