are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize