I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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