I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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