Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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