I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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