no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just google imaged poop.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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