You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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