I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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