Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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