bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
