You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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