How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
