I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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