no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
