Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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