giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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