im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
