You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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