Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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