Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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