Swine flu. Run for my life!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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