im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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