Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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