So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize