let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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