just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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