i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
