Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  i'm signing you up for texting rehab

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  (585): i'm signing you up for texting rehab http://tfl.nu/wf7t
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (893)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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  (207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid. http://tfl.nu/67sh
  Replies (15) Good night (6912) Bad night (811)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!

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  (416): Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro! http://tfl.nu/k0oj
  Replies (86) Good night (992) Bad night (4956)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

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  (513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide http://tfl.nu/gj7h
  Replies (19) Good night (846) Bad night (3865)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?

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  (216): Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon? http://tfl.nu/iu1h
  Replies (19) Good night (847) Bad night (1508)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.

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  (310): totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous. http://tfl.nu/lqpw
  Replies (93) Good night (7343) Bad night (2071)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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  (978): My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober. http://tfl.nu/yr07
  Replies (13) Good night (4648) Bad night (972)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.

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  (401): I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs. http://tfl.nu/di07
  Replies (8) Good night (3716) Bad night (1517)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie

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  (318): He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie http://tfl.nu/gshe
  Replies (10) Good night (1051) Bad night (2909)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.

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  (407): I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex. http://tfl.nu/84ml
  Replies (34) Good night (5470) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.

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  (504): You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3jk2
  Replies (7) Good night (825) Bad night (1739)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot

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  (215): I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot http://tfl.nu/otr7
  Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

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  (513): So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night. (1-513): Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though? http://tfl.nu/ren0
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas

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  (716): Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas http://tfl.nu/5ka8
  Replies (1) Good night (387) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!

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  (519): A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?! http://tfl.nu/rqi5
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (116)

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