Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.