Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
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Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.