Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Two?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Two.

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  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
  Replies (260) Good night (4367) Bad night (78919)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

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  (907): is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk? http://tfl.nu/2ehj
  Replies (26) Good night (7168) Bad night (909)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (67447) Bad night (3284)
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  (323): View more from California

  they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(

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  (323): they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:( http://tfl.nu/6gfx
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (2680)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.

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  (586): My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas. http://tfl.nu/bset
  Replies (8) Good night (772) Bad night (2501)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.

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  (541): Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused. http://tfl.nu/dae0
  Replies (9) Good night (1891) Bad night (702)
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  (695): View more from

  it was like a congratulatory penis slap

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  (695): it was like a congratulatory penis slap http://tfl.nu/qsp5
  Replies (17) Good night (1202) Bad night (660)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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  (406): I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people http://tfl.nu/t3r3
  Replies (7) Good night (897) Bad night (429)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.

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  (519): he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint. http://tfl.nu/fup1
  Replies (4) Good night (1264) Bad night (496)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.

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  (602): I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College. http://tfl.nu/47ac
  Replies (9) Good night (1082) Bad night (940)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (303) Bad night (693)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.

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  (712): I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple. http://tfl.nu/5d4d
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  ...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.

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  (843): ...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us. http://tfl.nu/7j26
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?

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  (915): She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex? http://tfl.nu/yio0
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready

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  (404): All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready http://tfl.nu/n5jr
  Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (216)

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