I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
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You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
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also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.