GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??