u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
