The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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