I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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