I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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