But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We are all done wearing pants today
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
