you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How external is "for external use only"?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
