So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
