I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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