I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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