I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
