If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
