Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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