Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize